Our Own Coachella (or Fyre Festival)
Eventually we accepted and realized something that we recommend all brides & grooms keep in mind... | August 9, 2023 | 7 minute read
Before Rohan & I were married I had been a bridesmaid about 7 times, if memory serves correctly. And along the way I had been mentally noting things down from each bridal party experience, to implement at my own fairy tale wedding one day.
From all my experiences my primary focus was really TIMING. I personally had a goal list that Rohan & I should have enough time to enjoy each event and get the photos and videos we wanted - unrushed. And that our guests had the time to relax, change outfits multiple times if they wanted (like I would do!) and enjoy every celebration, instead of being exhausted by 18 hours of events in a day.
Now these luxuries may not always be possible, especially in South Asian weddings which have many customs, but I was particularly hoping that our Hindu ceremony (a 5-6 hours event with breakfast & lunch) would not be condensed into the same day as our reception because:
It’d be an extremely long day for our guests & we wanted them to thoroughly enjoy our reception long into the night, which would’ve been tougher if they were up early the same day for an 8 am ceremony, and
It would’ve made it much tougher for Rohan & I and our bridal party to have a proper photo shoot because we would have to change looks quickly for our reception! This is not that difficult for a groom to do, but do you know how many bobby pins go into (& thus must be removed) from a bride’s head to hold a wedding dupatta?
Initially we were trying to have our Church ceremony and reception on the same day, since a Catholic ceremony usually lasts no more than 60-90 minutes. And if we had been able to hold it in the afternoon that would’ve allowed our bridal party and guests enough time to change and relax before our evening reception; it also should’ve allowed Rohan & I enough time for our post ceremony bridal shoot. But due to the unavailability at my family parish and our preferred reception venues, things just didn’t work out that way.
We even contemplated having our Sangeet 1 week prior to our wedding ceremonies but quickly realized that both of our families were so excited to have many relatives joining us from out of town who wouldn’t be able to come in that early. And honestly I wouldn’t have been nearly as fun without them there!
So what resulted was:
Bridal Mehndi (where I got my henna done) and Groom’s Haldi events on a Wednesday evening
Sangeet (a cultural celebration of song & dance) on Thursday evening
Church ceremony on Friday afternoon
Hindu ceremony on Saturday morning into the early afternoon, which allowed time for a Dholi later that evening
Reception on Sunday night…that went well into a holiday Monday morning!
Our schedule allowed for us to have a photo shoot with Flashing Lights Photography each day & get the most out of our photography package!
It was important to us to have enough time for fun, unhurried moments like this! | PC: Flashing Lights Photography
PC: Flashing Lights Photography
Guess how many bobby pins are in there.. | PC: Flashing Lights Photography
Initially - Rohan & I were really concerned about asking our family & friends to devote 4 or 5 days of their time (during the labor day long weekend) to our wedding - or what I referred to in our thank you speech as a “better version of the Fyre Festival”.
But eventually we accepted and realized something that we recommend all brides & grooms remember:
The people who want to be there to support you & celebrate with you on your big days will be there
Your guests will decide what they can and cannot do themselves, and that’s fine!
It’s not your responsibility to coax / persuade people to attend your wedding
We also decided to invite only our closest family & friends to all 5 events (based on venue capacity & our budget) so not everyone was also being asked to attend 4-5 days in a row.
In the end we loved our 5-day wedding festival because it came with its own advantages!
Out of town guests got time to tour/visit with other relatives and spend time with everyone between events & our wedding hotels became family reunion hotspots
Rohan & I, and our bridal party, had plenty of time for unrushed, relaxed & fun post-ceremony photo/video shoots and didn’t feel guilty about getting delayed for another event immediately after - so we weren’t worried about having our guests waiting for us somewhere either!
My makeup artists were not rushed or pressed for time to get me ready before my events
We enjoyed quality time with our parents, families, bridesmaids and groomsmen at our homes and hotel as we all got ready together leisurely
And most importantly (to us) - everyone was (fairly) well rested between events & this allowed for them to stay & enjoy each one even longer! This is why nearly half our guests were still on the dancefloor with Rohan & I well into the middle of the night at our reception doing ‘the wobble’.
Ultimately we pulled off something that many of our friends & family still refer to as the best ‘festival’ they’ve ever been to. And we couldn’t be happier to hear it.
When planning your own wedding we highly suggest you & your partner make a list of what is most important to you for your wedding, and then build your schedule to the best of your ability with that in mind! For us - having enough time to soak in every moment was priority #1. And looking back, we are so glad we had enough time for all the hugs, laughs, tears and bobby pins.
